


help is on the way

by nightswatch



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 11:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3608502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightswatch/pseuds/nightswatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A huge spider has decided to move into Grantaire's apartment and he needs some help getting rid of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	help is on the way

**Author's Note:**

> For [caroll-in](http://caroll-in.tumblr.com/), who asked for a "I know we’ve never talked before but there is a friggin huge spider in my apartment can you kill it for me” AU with Grantaire and Combeferre.

“No, you don’t understand, it’s _massive_.”

Combeferre looked up from his book. His neighbor had just stepped outside on his balcony, phone in hand. Combeferre barely knew him. They’d exchanged pleasantries when Combeferre had moved in, but other than that, Combeferre had only encountered Grantaire a handful of times.

Once, much like today, Grantaire had been out on the balcony, smoking a cigarette, wearing nothing but boxers. Combeferre had noticed that he had rather interesting tattoos. He assumed that if he spent more time out on his own balcony, he might see Grantaire more often than just once every few months.

Today, it seemed, Grantaire was pretty distraught. “Look,” he was saying, frowning down at his half-dead basil plant, “it’s going to kill me. Do you want that?” He groaned. “No, I can’t do that. Did I mention that it’s fucking ginormous?

Combeferre smirked. He had a feeling that he knew what this was about.

“You’re a horrible friend,” Grantaire whined. “I’ll have to sleep on the balcony tonight.” Eventually he sighed and hung up, his eyes darting over to Combeferre. He blinked rapidly, obviously only now noticing him.

“Hello,” Combeferre said, smiling at him.

Grantaire cleared his throat. “Um, hi.” He tapped on the railing of his balcony. “This might be a little weird, since we don’t actually know each other or anything, but there’s this really huge spider in my living room and it refuses to leave and it won’t pay rent either…” Grantaire took a deep breath. “And I’m actually really fucking scared of spiders, so could you do me a favor and maybe squish it for me?”

Combeferre frowned. “I don’t kill spiders,” he said. In a way, he understood why people who were terrified of them might do that but he was firmly against it. Spiders never did anything to anyone. “I could assist you in removing it, though.”

“Sure, yeah,” Grantaire said, his lips twitching. “Anything as long as won’t be anywhere near me anymore.”

“Don't worry, help is on the way,” Combeferre said, smiling at Grantaire one more time before he walked inside and put down his book on his living room table before he grabbed his keys and went to knock on the door down the hall.

Grantaire immediately opened the door for him. “I’m really sorry,” he said as Combeferre walked into his apartment, “I asked my friend to come over and save me, but he’s busy. I guess you heard that.”

“It’s in your living room?” Combeferre asked, trying his hardest not to look around Grantaire’s apartment with too much curiosity. But there was art on the walls and there were books and a huge pin board covered in scraps of paper that Combeferre would have loved to take a closer look at.

Grantaire pointed at the wall behind his TV, effectively interrupting Combeferre’s train of thought. “It’s right there.”

“I see,” Combeferre said, stepping closer to evaluate the situation. First of all, that spider wasn’t anywhere even close to _massive_. It was also sitting rather close to the ceiling and as tall as Combeferre was, he really couldn’t reach it. “Do you have a chair?”

Grantaire nodded and came back with a chair. “Do you need anything else? Like protective gloves or something?”

Combeferre snorted. “Don’t worry, I’ll manage.” He stepped onto the chair. “Could you maybe open the door to the balcony while I get it?”

“Wait,” Grantaire said, his eyes going wide, “you want to put it on the balcony?”

“Well, where else would I put it?” Combeferre asked, smirking at him. “Would you rather have it in your bedroom?”

“You’re not funny.” Grantaire made a face. “But if you put it on the balcony, it’ll be back in here in like an hour. I just want it to go far, far away.”

“I can take it back to my place.”

“Yeah, so I’ll have a spider neighbor, that’s great.”

“Okay, how about we just take it downstairs?” Combeferre suggested. “Do you have a box we can put it in?”

Grantaire nodded and got him an empty plastic cup before he retreated to the other end of the room. “Don’t laugh,” he grumbled, “I think spiders are really scary, okay? I mean, it’s okay when they’re teeny tiny ones, but that one…”

“Right,” Combeferre said, smiling at him in a way that hopefully was reassuring, then he reached out to scoop up the spider that obviously didn’t feel like leaving at all.

“Oh Christ, he’s touching it,” Grantaire mumbled behind him.

Combeferre shushed him, trying to concentrate on catching that spider. Just when he thought he had it, it slipped away from him again and darted off towards the floor.

Grantaire let out a strangled noise. “Where is it going?”

“Apparently it likes living with you,” Combeferre muttered and hopped off the chair. It didn’t take him long to find the spider again. He picked it up and quickly dropped it into the plastic cup, making sure to keep his hand on it, so Grantaire’s eight-legged guest couldn’t make an attempt to escape. “Got it.”

“Thank fuck,” Grantaire said, watching Combeferre as he walked back over to the door and eventually following at his heels.

“Are you making sure that I’m actually putting it outside?”

“You’re joking, but that’s exactly what I’m doing,” Grantaire said and walked down the stairs with him. “Just out of curiosity, how do you touch them without crying?”

“It’s a gift,” Combeferre said dryly. He pointed at a tree a little further down the street. “Let’s put it over there, alright?”

Grantaire narrowed his eyes. “I honestly can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or if you actually want the little spider dude to have a nice new home.”

“Both,” Combeferre said and started walking, Grantaire still following him. “Although I have a friend who has arachnophobia, so I do understand why you don’t want that spider anywhere near you or your apartment.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that I have a phobia, I just don’t like sharing my apartment with animals that might crawl into my mouth at night. You know that thing that people keep saying… that you eat so and so many spiders a year while you’re sleeping?” Grantaire made a face. “But let’s be real, that spider probably would have eaten me.”

“You know that that’s a myth, right?” Combeferre said as he set down the spider at the bottom of the tree. “You don’t actually eat spiders in your sleep.”

Grantaire raised his eyebrows. “Are you like a spider scientist or something?”

“No, but I’ve heard several people voice the exact same concern and I did some research. You can google it, seriously, if you really did eat a spider in your sleep, it would be a completely random occurrence. Anyway, you’d probably notice if there was something crawling into your mouth.”

Grantaire shuddered. “Honestly, I’d rather not notice. But that’s actually really good to know, maybe I’ll stop having spider-related nightmares now.”

Combeferre laughed. “I’m sure you’ll sleep very well tonight.” When they’d returned to their building, he held the door open for Grantaire and they made their way back up to their floor.

“Thanks again,” Grantaire said when they’d reached his door. “Maybe you should start a spider removal service.”

“Feel free to come get me if there are any more spiders you need me to get rid of. You know, just in case the one we just put outside finds its way back or something.”

“I’ll just scream your name really loudly.”

Combeferre bit his lip because, well, that had been so unfortunately worded and somehow he just couldn’t keep his mind from going places it definitely shouldn’t be going right now. “Yeah,” he choked out.

Grantaire, obviously noticing that Combeferre looked rather flustered all of a sudden, smirked at him. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around?”

Combeferre smiled. “Yes, you definitely will.”


End file.
